A little church humor!!

Waking Up for Church

One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, 'I'm not going.'
'Why not?' she asked.
I'll give you two good reasons,' he said. 'One, they don't like me, and two, I don' t like them.'
His mother replied, 'I'll give YOU two good reasons wh y YOU SHOULD go to church. (1) You're 59 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!'

The Picnic


A Jewish Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town's annual 4th of July picnic Old friends, they began their usual banter. 'This baked ham is really delicious,' the priest teased the rabbi. 'You really ought to try it. I know it's against your religion, but I can't understand why such a wonde rful f ood sh ould be forbidden! You don't know what you're missing. You just haven't lived until you've tried Mrs. Hall's prized Virginia Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to break down and try it?'
The rabbi looked at the priest with a big grin, and said, 'At your wedding.'

The Best Way To Pray


A pries t, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby. 'Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray,' the priest said.
'No,' said the minister. 'I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven.'
'You're both wrong,' the guru said. 'The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor.'
The repairman could contain himself no longer. 'Hey, fellas,' he interrupted. 'The be st prayin' I ever did was when I was hangin' upside down from a telephone pole.'

The Twenty and the One


A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation. The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country. 'I've had a pretty good life,' the twenty proclaimed. 'Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City , the finest restaurants in New York , performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean '
'Wow!' said the one-dollar bill. 'You've really had an exciting life !'
'So tell me,' says the twenty, 'where have you been throughout your lifetime?'
The one dollar bill replies, 'Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church , the Baptist Church , the Lutheran Church .'
The twenty-dollar
Bill interrupts, 'What' s a churc h?'

Goat for Dinner


The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having.
'Goat,' the little boy replied.
'Goat?' replied the startled man of the cloth, 'Are you sure about that?'
'Yep,' said the youngster. 'I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.''